To Look First, or not to Look First...

The First Look...

• What it is:
  • A first look is a moment staged and set up by a wedding photographer for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony. This is typically done alone, away from your wedding party, and is a moment shared by just the two of you.
• Why to consider it:
  • Gets the nerves out. Most of my couples are a thousand times more relaxed after they've seen each other.
  • More time spent focusing on couple photos, which allows your photographer to be more creative and give you more variety in your photos. (This means more and better photos of the two of you!)
  • Allows you to have photos at multiple locations.
  • It's a perfect time to exchange gifts if you plan to give each other one at the wedding.
  • Also allows for more creative bridal party photos.
  • Most, if not all photos are done before the ceremony, so as soon as you guys tie the knot, it's party time. Nothing to "get done" before you can relax and enjoy the party.
  • Ability to join cocktail hour if you want.
• Reasons people don't:
  • It's not traditional, and isn't it bad luck?
    • The "bad luck" part of it comes from the time when women were treated as property and marriages were business deals. The fathers of the bride would be thrilled if they were able to broker a deal to marry their daughters to a wealthy family, though he might also be nervous that the groom may back out in case he didn't find her to be attractive, thus bringing shame to the family. So, the tradition became that the bride and groom didn't see each other until the last possible moment so that it would be too late for the groom to back out. This is also where the tradition of the veil fits into the wedding. It was another way to keep the brides appearance concealed until the vows were said and the knot was tied.
• It's still your choice.
  • It's totally up to you whether or not you do a "first look". I will shoot your wedding either way. We do whatever we need to to make it work. While I see a lot of advantages to couples having a first look, I would never insist that anyone do it.
  • In full-disclosure, I didn't have a first look at my wedding, but I did see my groom before the wedding, after hair and makeup were complete. I was a nervous wreck and the only thing that could calm me down was to see him and talk to him, so before going to the venue to put on my dress, I stopped at his hotel. So while it wasn't a formal first look, it was exactly what I needed to get me through the next few hours until the ceremony and to calm my nerves. If I had it to do again, I would probably do a formal first look because there were spots I wanted to take photos that we just didn't have time for before we had to be at the reception.

So, summary- First-looks have a lot of good points and I highly recommend that you and your fiance' at least consider it as an option. BUT, keep in mind that you have to do what is right for YOU as a couple, and this is a great place to start. During your marriage you'll have tons of input from others on what you should do in any given circumstance. Always remember that doing what is best for you as a couple is never a wrong choice, no matter what anyone else thinks.

What are your thoughts on a first-look? Did you have one? Would you do it differently if you were to do it all over again? Fill me in on your side of it. :o)